Today is day 6 of trying to get my little one to nurse, and in that time, I have had ONE fully successful session. Yesterday, at his 6:00 PM feeding, he didn't fuss or cry; he didn't punch or kick me or pull his head away from me; and I didn't have to use any tubes, pacifiers, formula supplementation, finger feeding, etc. I just sat him up in the football hold, and he immediately latched on and began to eat. I was so excited and relieved; I seriously thought we had a major breakthrough. Then his next feeding, everything went back to what I am now referring to as "The Norm."
I have seriously cried several times over this whole nursing business. I really do not want to feed him formula if I do not have to, but pumping his EVERY meal is beginning to wear me out - especially in the middle of the night when I have had about 3 hours of sleep. It would be so nice to not have to fight with my child for 1-2 hours EVERY feeding just trying to get him to nurse before finally giving in and pulling out the pump. Don't get me wrong, the pump is WONDERFUL, and such a life-savor at the moment, but for EVERY feeding?? I thought breastfeeding was supposed to be a natural instinct. There are so many benefits to nursing, and I want to give my baby the best start possible, but every time he refuses my breast, it makes me feel like the worst mom on the planet. I am just praying it gets better soon.
On another note:
It's hard to believe that my baby will already be a week old tomorrow. Wow, time sure is flying by. Already I am noticing many changes in him. For one, he isn't quite as chubby and his cone head has rounded out. For two, he now opens his eyes all the way and keeps them open for longer amounts of time. Along with that, I think he's starting to see more; he'll look at me, then look up at something else, then look back at me... It's really quite adorable.
So far, the mommy thing is great. Sure, I am more exhausted and tired than I have ever been in my life, and my vagina feels like it might just rip in two every time I use the restroom, but I look at my little Judah's face, and he makes it all worth it.